Sunday, November 25, 2007

Statement of Purpose

"People should be beat up for stating their beliefs" -- They Might Be Giants, "Shoehorn With Teeth"

In this vast expanse that we call the blogosphere, there are thousands of statements of purpose designed to tell the reader why the blogger has chosen to eat up bandwidth and use up time that could be devoted to paying the bills or mowing the lawn. These statements are often lofty declarations about helping mankind or leaving something for posterity, when the blogger is usually just bored.

Well, I actually did come here to have some sort of impact. What that impact will be is hard to tell. I'm here to talk about what's on my mind about a variety of topics. Sometimes it will have to do with politics. Sometimes it will have to do with culture. Sometimes it will have to do with the godawful traffic in Pittsburgh.

Why am I here? It started millions of years ago, when a meteorite killed the dinosaurs and--oh, you mean why have I started this blog? I suppose I should start by introducing you to a character from my past. Those who are familiar with the
Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" ads may recognize her:

Reeeal people of geniuuhs....

Today we salute you, Miss Young, Idealistic High School English Teacher!

Miss Young, Idealistic High School English Teacherrrrr....

You're searching for Stephen King in an 11th grade classroom, even if you're hundreds of miles from Maine!

It's a long way to Bangor....

If a kid can put a sentence together without a double negative, well, you've found your Shakespeare! Just remember to tip him the next time you go to Starbucks!

Now for the bad news....

So that's why we salute you, Miss Young, Idealistic High School English Teacher!

Miss Young, Idealistic High School English Teacher....

Since high school, my dream has been to become a writer, and it has persisted in the face of adversity and common sense. I have completed a novel that I have submitted to publishers and agents across America. The result? Well, I'm sitting here writing this blog, right?

I have had a brainstorm lately about how I can gain exposure for my writing and have an impact in a hurry--start a blog! OK, so it's not a very original idea, but look around you. Blogs are changing the world. Blogs such as Daily Kos are changing the face of politics. Gossip bloggers such as
Perez Hilton can affect a celebrity's status overnight. An opinion, a rumor, or a forgotten fact can reach the world with the click of a mouse. Why sit around waiting for rejection slips when you can reach millions faster than you can say "URL"? And besides, I'm bored.

So, here I am, and here I hope to be for quite some time.


Jamie Fritz said...

perez hilton is a piece of crap.

raf said...

Of course, he is. Cool name, though.
I just used him as an example of a non-political blog that is widely read.