MENSA ALLEY
A tribute to my early years on the Mensa RG circuit
(To the tune of “Creeque Alley” by The Mamas and the Papas)
IT student, perhaps it wasn’t prudent
But I left the horse racing behind
Y2K, I just had to get away
And see what happiness I could find
Went to Can We Talk on Thursday nights
With Red and Steve and Roland, doing it right
Soon everybody knew me, one night Red said to me,
“Go to the Dayton RG”
She twisted my arm and that began a whole new life for me
When I got to Dayton, fun and games were waitin’
People gave me hugs all around
Thoughts did strike me that they were so much like me
Paradise was what I had found
I danced and I played games for hours (at the RG)
And then the friendly forecast called for April showers
I made many new friends and even had a girlfriend
My life would never be like before
I wouldn’t be ashamed to call myself a nerd anymore
Every RG was an adventure for me
A play in which we all had a part
Mary Lee was queen and Skinner made the scene
And Gloater taught me double-deck hearts
Many geniuses before my eyes (shut up, Barry!)
But after every quiz bowl, I won the prize
I finally felt free because I could be me
They didn’t even mind when I’d sing
I knew right there and then that Mensa was a lifetime thing
For two great RG seasons, Mensa was the reason
I got out of bed every day
Cincy and SEMMantics, WeeM and Rivers 3
And don’t forget The Queen’s Croquet
Then April said she had to have a baby
She thought I told her no, but really it was maybe
We knew it was lights out, we both cried our eyes out
But I had little time to be blue
Met Jamie on the Hell’s Ms list and then I said, “Yahoo!”
Pittsburgh, Fritzburgh, mighty Steeler blitz-burgh
Sixteen years I’ve been with my bae
Red’s a DVM and Steve is born again
And April swings a different way
Skinner, Gloater, Roland, they’re all gone now
The Mensa RG train will keep on rolling somehow
With every new summer, I can’t help but wonder
Where we’ll be as time marches on
Well, now you’ve heard my story, you kids need to get off my lawn!
