Friday, October 25, 2019

The Old Lamplighter (In Delmont, PA)

(To the tune of “The Old Lamplighter” by The Browns)

For a good time you will remember
And great food night or day
The old Lamplighter
In Delmont, PA
From January to December
It’s not so far away
The old Lamplighter
In Delmont, PA

You head northeast on 22
We will be waiting there for you
From Pittsburgh, it’s a thirty-minute drive
We’ve got Italian specialties
Filet mignon is sure to please
A banquet room where parties come alive
An institution of good cheer
Even “Mindhunter” was shot here
You’ll walk in and feel glad that you arrived

‘Cause we’ve got steak, prime rib and seafood
And pies baked fresh each day
The old Lamplighter
In Delmont, PA

See us or breakfast or for lunch
We even have a Sunday brunch
We’ve got a table waiting just for you
So bring your family and friends
We know that you’ll come back again
And we’ll be glad to see you when you do

For a good time you will remember
And great food night or day
The old Lamplighter
In Delmont, PA

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Florida Man

To the tune of "Particle Man" by They Might Be Giants

Florida Man, Florida Man
You know him from TV and radio-land
Morning DJs talk across this land
About Florida Man

He doesn’t dance and he doesn’t sing
He just likes to do outrageous things
Caught on camera in a garbage can
He’s at it again, Florida Man

Florida Man, Florida Man
Pleading his case before the judge again
Is he on drugs? Nobody knows
Florida Man

Florida Man, Florida Man
Keeps an alligator close at hand
Ask him why, he says it’s his wife
Florida Man

Saw him one morning at a quarter to four
Walking naked in a liquor store
Strange thing was that it had closed at ten
A crazy man, Florida Man

Florida Man, Florida Man
Somebody stole his bag of meth again
Called 911 to get it back
Florida Man

Last week I heard he was down in the Keys
Pooped on the counter in a Mickey D’s
Shake machine was broken again
He just can’t stand that, Florida Man

Florida Man, Florida Man
Gets pulled over by Policeman
They have a fight, Policeman wins
Poor Florida Man!