Fritzburgh An'at

It's alive!

2011-11-17T21:39:00.006-05:00

That's right--my novel, A Witch to Live, is now available at www.createspace.com******[The following is a transcript of a presentation I made about A Witch to Live earlier this year at the Columbus (Ohio) Mensa Regional Gathering. It was not given as it is presented here, but contained quite a bit of last-minute editing, ad-libbing and stage fright.]At this RG, you are going to hear presentations

Blog under construction

2011-07-09T19:15:00.001-04:00

Fritzburgh An'at is currently being reworked and will reappear soon in a form to be determined by its creator. The problem is not in your net.

Everyday I Don't Write The Book

2010-11-21T21:32:00.004-05:00

A random blog topic I stumbled across tonight is "Books I Want To Write."So what books do I want to write? I could have answered this question more easily when I was a senior in high school. I had a whole page full of ideas, most of which I don't remember, and most of which are not worth remembering. Elvis Costello once said that his prime motivators for making music were "revenge and guilt." So

Rude Awakenings

2010-10-14T07:50:00.008-04:00

Much has been said about Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers student who committed suicide after two classmates webcast him having sex with another male student.I’m surprised that the outrage has been nearly universal, judging from online comments to news stories about the tragedy. Unmoderated comments to news stories don’t usually bring out the best in humanity (last week some humanoids on CNN seriously

I blame the Bicentennial

2010-07-04T12:16:00.003-04:00

Independence Day creates a dilemma for liberals. How do you express your pride in your country without being mistaken for some paranoid loon with an arsenal in his basement?Of all the crimes committed by the right wing in recent times, one of the worst is the hijacking of America’s symbols. Look at any conservative website (or at least its home page—go further at your own risk). You’re likely to

Mystery Science Scam E-mails 3000

2010-06-20T15:54:00.005-04:00

It looks like Nigerian scam e-mails are making a comeback--except now most of them aren't from Nigeria. I received one in my inbox a few weeks ago that was especially egregious, so I could think of nothing better to do than give it the MST3K treatment.Dearly Beloved, [we are gathered here today to get through this thing called a scam!]I wish you can understand the heart of a loving mother [it

What is truth?

2010-05-13T23:15:00.002-04:00

I used a random blog entry generator today, and it gave me the topic, “What is truth?”They sure know how to throw the puffballs at you.When I was a kid, I always knew what truth was. It was all around me. It was the only worldview I’d been exposed to. Truth was everything I’d been told. It was not just the truth, it was the Truth with a capital T.I knew that I was the smartest person who ever

And the answers are...

2010-03-02T21:41:00.003-05:00

For those who care, here are the right answers to my mondegreen quiz.1) WRONG: We were cool on Christ RIGHT: We were cool on craze “Dance Hall Days,” Wang ChungOh, the pitfalls of a heavy British accent. This made quite a few people do a double-take up at Otterbein in my day. 2) WRONG: Requesting quiet, requesting quiet RIGHT: Big boys don’t cry, big boys don’t cry "I’m Not in Love,”

At last--a mondegreen quiz

2010-02-21T16:38:00.002-05:00

It’s time to see if anybody is reading this blog.From time to time I have posted my favorite mondegreens—song lyrics that I have misheard at some point in my life. The problem is that I keep forgetting one when it comes to mind. But I’ve solved that problem in a low-tech way—I started writing them down.So now I’ve got enough mondegreens saved for a quiz. I list the wrong line and you come up with

Where do I begin?

2010-01-21T19:15:00.004-05:00

Here’s the story of the bizarre events of last evening:I was driving home from work last night and was getting off the Parkway East onto 22 when I was confronted by the carcass of a dead animal (I think it was a deer, but could have been a large dog). It looked small enough to straddle with no problem, so I ran across it and heard a thump. I thought nothing more of it and continued on my way home

New Year's mondegreens, or who in the hell is Danny Heidelman?

2010-01-15T19:11:00.005-05:00

Well, it's a new year with lots of new challenges and lots of lyrics to mishear. I haven't posted any mondegreens lately, so here's another round. I have been accused of making up these mondegreens after the fact. But I did mishear all these lyrics at one point in my life. You'll notice that most of these mondegreens are of older songs (I think the newest song in this entry came out in 1981),

Here's to the Uh-ohs

2009-12-31T19:16:00.000-05:00

New Year’s Eve. A time to think about the past year and all the things that happened, and all your plans for the next year, and Ohio State’s chances of winning the Rose Bowl, and why New Year’s Eve TV programming has sucked ever since Guy Lombardo’s orchestra disbanded, and….Enough. Why do we even celebrate the New Year when we do? It’s of no astronomical significance (the winter solstice is

When the bad guy wins

2009-12-27T20:42:00.002-05:00

In our culture, it is accepted as an article of faith that good triumphs in the end. It may take years, but good always wins.It is this meme, mantra, or whatever you want to call it, that keeps us getting out of bed day after day, working meaningless jobs, dealing with idiots, and experiencing sporadic happiness—the idea that, no matter how badly you’ve been screwed, you’ll be on top someday.

An Obama presidency post-mortem

2009-12-06T10:51:00.003-05:00

You read that right. This entry is a post-mortem of the Obama presidency. He will still be in office for at least three more years and could be re-elected, but in an important way, his presidency ended earlier this week when he announced that he would send an additional 30,000 troops to Afghanistan. What has ended is any idea that his presidency will lead to radical change. Many people have

The most worthless list on the web

2009-11-22T19:30:00.002-05:00

The web is a hotbed of useless information, but I've found one common "news" item that is actually more useless than any blog. Even this one.Everyday you will see a common news item on the Yahoo! home page, and many other well-known home pages. The link will be in your face the moment you log on, along with the latest pretty, rich white girl who went missing and the latest stupid thing Sarah

Haunted by the "S from Hell"

2009-10-18T00:24:00.008-04:00

Jamie and I were walking through Storybook Forest at Idlewild recently when we started talking about how some people were really freaked out by clowns when they were little. I never understood this fear. I always found clowns to be mildly amusing, nothing more. But then I started thinking about some of the irrational things that scared me as a child. While clowns may not have scared me, I had

That’s what makes horse racing—and Facebook

2009-10-05T22:31:00.001-04:00

If I have learned nothing else by getting sucked into the Facebook maelstrom, I’ve gained a measure of tolerance.As I write this, I have 291 Facebook friends, a quite diverse lot. With a few exceptions (some family, a few members of the Pittsburgh pagan community, a karaoke DJ, a few former co-workers and one current co-worker—and why can’t I hear the word “co-worker” without thinking of Pat from

The dream is over, what can I say?

2009-09-28T21:06:00.003-04:00

I have heard it said that, if you have a hero, look again--you have diminished yourself in some way. I was reminded of that quote last night as I finished John, the biography by Cynthia Lennon, John's first wife. You could not have been a small child in the late '60s and early '70s--with four teenagers in the house--without becoming a Beatles fan. So it was with me. I recognized, even then, that

America has been given a collective lobotomy

2009-09-06T23:16:00.000-04:00

I cannot believe the hysteria that has overtaken America. Less than a year after sending Barack Obama to the White House (and, yes, it was the American people that put him there, not ACORN), the American people are now intent on destroying him. Obama is now unable to give an 18-minute address to high school kids without causing a major controversy. People are actually keeping their kids home

Song parody time

2009-08-17T21:53:00.006-04:00

I thought it was time for a song parody. Google tells me that some wingnut has beaten me to this idea (and I'm not posting the link here), but I like mine better. It's not Weird Al, but I work a lot cheaper. BLAME IT ON BARACK OBAMA(to the tune of "Blame It on the Bossa Nova" by Eydie Gorme)Well, I lost my jobAnd my wife done goneAnd she left me hereWith my dog and gunBut I can’t

Not a place to hide

2009-07-18T23:24:00.005-04:00

The 2009 Annual Gathering of American Mensa is in the books. Over 1800 people attended, many people worked really hard, and just about everybody had fun. All that, and Dr. Demento, too.My adolescence (at least the good part of it) flashed before my eyes when the Doctor gave his presentation on his 50 years in radio. His multimedia presentation was loaded with favorites from his show, such as “

On the death—and immortality—of rock ‘n roll

2009-05-31T00:10:00.003-04:00

Some pointed comments by E-Streeter Steven Van Zandt at the SXSW musicfest have brought something to the front of my mind that has been back there among all the back issues of Spin for a while. He’s said what many people have had on their minds for a while—contemporary pop music sucks. You can hear it for yourself on any commercial FM station that isn’t country (don’t worry, I’ll get to country

Everyday I face the book

2009-05-14T21:11:00.005-04:00

One thing I have noticed is that this blog often does not live up to the subheading. It reads, "Politics, Culture and Whimsy from a Chipped Chopped Mind." It often seems as if there isn't enough whimsy here. I often think I would like to just babble, do a Jack Kerouac "first thought, best thought" thing. So that's what I'm doing now.I could go back to mondegreens. Those seem to get a lot of hits,

Whose American Dream?

2009-05-10T21:20:00.004-04:00

The American Dream. It’s a phrase that’s thrown around a lot every day, although few people can tell you what it really means. Wikipedia defines it thus:The American Dream refers to the freedom that allows all citizens and all residents of the United States to pursue their goals in life through hard work and free choice.Wow. Just reading that took my breath away. Well, not literally, but you get

Why do you think they call it trivia?

2009-04-24T23:18:00.004-04:00

Last weekend, I took part in something called CultureQuest, which has nothing to do with yogurt or strep throat.Instead, it is a 90-minute test of "cultural literacy" (a term for people who are too prissy to call it trivia) among teams representing Mensa chapters across the U.S. and Canada. Do you know the eight countries in “The Group of Eight”? Or what characteristic makes the Ferruginous Pygmy

Personal responsibility

2009-04-11T01:07:00.002-04:00

Pittsburgh is not the first place most people would guess that a tragedy like last week’s shooting, which left three police officers dead, would occur, let alone the relatively quiet neighborhood of Stanton Heights. While most of us were shocked by what happened, what will happen from here is all too predictable. The accused gunman, Richard Poplawski, will have his day in court, during which he

Who pays for infallibility?

2009-03-25T07:55:00.002-04:00

I’m not Catholic, I certainly don’t play one on TV, nor did I stay at the Vatican Holiday Inn Express last night. The closest I’ve come to being Catholic is rooting for Notre Dame. At the same time, several of my family members are Catholic, and one of the best friends of my family is a priest who used to come to the house to give communion to my Irish Catholic grandmother. When it comes to

The 15 albums that changed my life

2009-02-27T23:36:00.004-05:00

This is one of many silly exercises that’s been going around Facebook ever since old fogeys like me discovered the site, and I find the idea very intriguing. But I maintain that most people who post their lists, as the lolcats would say, r doin it rong. Most of the lists I’ve seen are just lists of people’s favorite albums—which is just fine, but it doesn’t answer the question. Anybody can make a

Marxism—or just common sense?

2009-02-14T23:00:00.001-05:00

Anybody who thinks C-SPAN is boring has never listened to the phone calls on its morning show, “Washington Journal.” It’s become an outlet for extremists on both ends of the political spectrum whose computers haven’t warmed up yet.There’s just something about actually hearing crackpots’ voices that makes them even sillier than reading their blather in print. I’ll never forget the time I came into

And in the end...

2009-01-30T23:22:00.004-05:00

Somebody at Jamsbio.com named JBev has a lot more time on his hands than I do.He actually rated all 185 original compositions performed by The Beatles as a group and posted them on the site, with an explanation for each that goes far beyond “cool” or “sucks.”The list stretches for 20 web pages, and will be excruciating reading for many (although it doesn’t seem half as long as watching the movie

Dementions and dementites...

2009-01-17T12:32:00.005-05:00

Imagine getting the chance to meet Michael Jordan, Paul McCartney, or someone else who was your hero when you were young.The Flying Spaghetti Monster willing, I will get that opportunity in July. It started a few months ago when plans were being made for the 2009 Annual Gathering of American Mensa, which will be held in Pittsburgh 4th of July weekend. The theme is “AM-FM, About Mensans, For

It really is the economy, stupid

2009-01-10T12:03:00.003-05:00

I saw Roger and Me last night, best known as the film that made Michael Moore the left-wing icon he is today. While some things about the film haven’t aged well—the hairdos are hilarious—the theme is no less relevant today. As the film begins, Moore shows us home movies of his childhood in Flint, Mich., when General Motors was king. His dad worked for GM, and the images of dancing spark plugs and

43

2009-01-04T12:05:00.003-05:00

It's Troy Polamalu's number. It's Darren Sproles' number, and he had a pretty good game last night. It was Richard Petty's number, and NASCAR fans still call him "The King." Channel 43 in Cleveland showed a lot of old TV shows on cable when I was little. And as of today, it's my age.Birthdays don't mean much as you get older. You can get into R-rated movies at 17, you can vote at 18, you can

So long to an awful year (mostly)

2008-12-31T17:11:00.002-05:00

2008 has been one of the worst years of my life, and a pretty bad one for a lot of other people.It started out poorly on Jan. 17 when my wife broke her leg. Then came six operations, several weeks in the hospital and a few more in rehab. There was the clerical error that meant that my wife didn’t get paid for two months. Then my father was in the hospital for a few days. Things weren’t much

Found On Road Dead

2008-12-07T10:39:00.002-05:00

Years ago, I bought a 1992 Ford Tempo, and it was, without question, the car from Hell. In the four years I owned it, everything went wrong. The front bumper came loose, a headlight went out, one speaker on the radio stopped working, the power windows wouldn’t go up and down in cold weather, a problem with the electrical system drained several batteries, and one windshield wiper slipped off its

My first mondegreen

2008-11-28T12:54:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving was yesterday, and with it came memories of my first mondegreen.There was an ad for a department store that I can't remember that used the song "Over the River and Through the Woods." This song is also on the Alvin and the Chipmunks album, "Christmas with the Chipmunks," which I had when I was little. (Yeah, the song's about Thanksgiving, but they grafted a bridge onto the song that

career ur doin it rong

2008-11-13T19:19:00.004-05:00

Today I learned that I did not get a position at work that seemed perfect for me. This is the eighth interview I've had at my company without a single offer. My current position is adequate, but provides little chance for advancement and is not where I want to be in five or 10 years. Why didn't I get the job? The only reason I can discern (aside from any one of several full-blown conspiracy

A damn good generation

2008-11-09T00:34:00.001-05:00